Tales from the Bartender

Winged Razorblades

2006-12-07T07:44:00.000-08:00

The taste of ash lingers,

As my cigarette burns to oblivion,

Leaving nothing but the scent,

Of a past that is exhaled into the wind,

The clock’s ticks are a stream of bullets,

Bouncing on the cheap plywood walls,

That pierces not only my flesh,

But also the folds of my fragile sanity,

I scream into the abyss that surrounds,

The four corners of my bed,

And yet no sound is heard,

Only the crackle of my veins as they burst,

My eyes weep blood tears,

Scarlet droplets that stain my cheek,

And paint my covers with sorrow,

Coating my very soul with torment,

The shadows creep closer upon me,

Dragging with them the silent revelries,

Of a past that needs to remain dead,

And buried in the graveyard of my memory,

Come Home

2006-08-07T05:52:00.000-07:00

Come home to me my love... Come home to the man that loves you and wishes nothing more than to give you a home to come home to. Come home to the man that loves you with the heat of a thousand suns and burns with the passion that he has for you. Let me take you home my love... Let me wrap you in my embrace and let me fill you with all the love I have. Come home to me my love... Come home to the only home you will ever need and the only home that will never fade. Come home to me my love... Come home to me... Come home to the house that our love built and furnished. I love you Mads... I love you

4 AM

2005-12-20T03:08:00.000-08:00

The sky is dark with hints of gray,
The pale moon gleams o’er the weary way,
Three of three, walk on by,
To seek the home of one whose heart is full of sighs,

The hour is late, but sometimes early,
Filled with fear and eyes that are beady,
Two of three walk on either side,
Of one whose heart’s been hurt twice four times,

Lungs are heavy,
Feet are cold,
The route is steady,
Growing ever bold,

The silent whispers of the night,
Grow wings and take flight,
Hallowed steps on hallowed ground,
Fills the void with sound,

The ending beckons one of three,
Whose wish is to find peace and glee,
Tired limbs and eyes heavy,
A warm bed is the place to be,

The road is done,
A promise kept,
The darkness gone,
And sorrows wept,

None of three now remain,
The sun is rising o’er the plain,
Dreams of moments long and past,
Shall be the ones to leave last,

Forever and a day

2005-11-15T03:55:00.000-08:00

The countless seconds we have been apart,
Fill the blank pages of my memory and stain,
The shards of my immortal soul,

With each passing moment,
The rift in my heart grows wider,
And swallows the love I once felt for you,

I had once sworn to love you forever,
Or at least until the stars burned out
And the sky fell to the bottom of the sea,

As it very well seems, as I gaze,
Into the pitch black sky with pieces of it missing,
That the day has finally come for us to part,

I shall love you all the days of my life,
But my heart can no longer keep you in it,
For the weight of you has crippled me,

Summer days are but a faint memory in the wind,
That have joined the fancies of childhood I have buried,
Along with the scars of our union,

I am yours and you are mine for all eternity,
We shall live on in the ripples of history and memory,
That shall neither fade nor die,

But for now my beloved leave me to find,
Myself and another to bestow the love I once gave you,
Leave me and we might just find each other someday,

Sunflower

2005-06-10T02:49:00.000-07:00

The darkness that once covered my soul died,
With the coming of the new dawn,
The once cold limbs now burn with love for you my beloved,

Your voice, your slender body which sends shivers down my soul,
Feeds my desire to once again touch your skin,
My one wish is to stare into your eyes and lose myself,

My passion for you burns like a million suns that rise with each day,
An opium love affair that dances on the edge of a sword,
The tip of which is pointed directly to my open heart,

When I am in your presence, time holds no place,
But when we are apart, a second is an eternity of pain,
The longing rakes on my mind and cripples my senses,

The silent revelries of my mind rattle with each naysayer,
But I seek solace in your arms and in the sound of your loving voice,
I am within a womb that shelters me from doubt,

I now live a borrowed life that I can no longer repay,
I am your suppliant that you have blessed with your grace,
My courage to rise from slumber comes from your loving gaze,

I am your eternal lover, ever vigilant to any danger,
A man who will brave a tempest to keep you dry,
For I must take heed to let in not a drop for you may wither,

Ramblings of a man in love

2005-04-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

The lights were dim and a simple lamp illuminated the room we were in. The hustle and bustle of the restaurant echoed within the four walls and yet we seemed to be trapped within a bubble. Each movement she made gave me bliss and I could not hide my joy for I glowed with pure passion and love. I sat there and watched her eat and with each bite my heart seemed to skip a beat. I felt as if the weight of the world was pressing down on my chest as I struggled to find the words to tell her. I prayed to God to give strength for I was unsure as to what outcome of this night might bring.

Three weeks, three weeks that seemed an eternity to me. With each day I rise and I long to hear her voice that was my only nourishment. She became my fuel to fight the never-ending cycle of life and I adored her for giving me back my sanity. Hours of talking that stretched on to the wee hours of the morn and not once did I feel the fatigue. I was new man, a man who had found his meaning and purpose. She was the reason of my rebirth and I thank her for all the days of my life that she has touched.

The waiter approached to take our dessert order and I scorned his indifference. Did he not see that he was in the midst of a goddess and that he had broken my rhythm? I once again scoured for the words that would show her my intentions were sincere and that I truly loved her. Never in my wildest fantasies did I imagine that words could ever fail me and I stuttered for the first time in my life. But I could no longer hold back for I felt as if I would explode with all the emotions that were fighting to get out. In mid-sentence I came out and uttered the words of my salvation. “I like you” were the first three words I could say coherently and I blushed a fiery crimson from shame. She stared at me with her beautiful eyes and smiled a smile that I could not bare to look at. At that instant my words came back and I echoed words filled with longing and love that seemed to flow from the very core of my heart. She sat there silent but still wearing that smile I had long wanted to see. In that moment of silence I understood that words were no longer needed to express my love for her for she herself needed not a sentence to tell me that it was ok. I may not fully understand what happened that night the one thing I am sure is that I will love her till the stars burn out and the darkness claim me once again.

Psychosis 101

2005-04-27T04:36:00.000-07:00

Half-lit cigarette burning fast,
The horse running wildly in my veins,
Burning every cell inside my body,

Strobe lights inside my mind,
A string of northern lights that blind my eyes,
A cocaine-induced hysteria killing me slowly,

The guitar rhythm fuels my rotting carcass,
Steaming adrenalin pumping in my bloodstream,
A poison cocktail filled with death,

Opium den run by Chinese whore mongers are my friends,
Doing a jig while shooting each other with heroin,
Each of their orifices bleeding coal black blood,

The earth shaking under my feet,
A chasm breaks open and I fall into the abyss,
I wake up covered in vomit and my own foul excrement,

Whisper

2005-04-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

The night looms over the weary wayward land,
It slowly drives each and every citizen to a deep unwavering slumber,
Darkness that reflects the very color of the soul,

No creature stirs for the power of the night reaches every crack and corner,
Save for one that simply refuses to give in and enter the dream kings domain,
He works feverishly through the wee hours of darkness and the morn,

He moves with such fervor and passion that the darkness turns shy and moves on,
The very presence of such a man defies the very purpose of day and night,
He is an abomination for he is an example that others may soon follow,

The sun and moon curse his name for he destroyed their very essence and core,
It would seem the heavens have barred him from their luminous touch,
For he has grown blind from the use of candle light in his nocturnal escapades,

A lowly star once came to his bedside window and asked him many questions,
He answered each question clearly and truthfully save for one he did not answer,
The star had asked how was it that he was able to fight the pull of darkness,

He was but a man that radiated no light of his own,
But how was it possible that he could drive away something so immense,
It was an act that nagged and deeply troubled the young star,

To this question the man merely answered, “Her voice keeps me going”,
That answer baffled the young star even more for he did not understand,
As he made his way back into the sky he continued to ponder the reply,

Many years passed and the man continued to work at night,
But doing so only invited the reaper to his doorstep sooner than expected,
The man was now lying in his deathbed struggling for each breath,

The star, young no more once again came to his bedside window,
He asked many questions and he answered all save for one that he did not,
To that question he merely answered, “Her voice kept me going”,

The man died that day but the star never left his side,
He watched as many mourners came to grieve his passing,
All were marked with such pain save for one that was smiling,

She sat beside his body whispering words of love to his ear,
She knew that he was listening and that he yearned for her voice,
In this time she was the thing that he needed the most,

The night then extended its arms and slowly wrapped the land in its embrace,
The star then witnessed that the woman was unable to sleep,
So he fell from the sky and he went to her bedside window,

He asked her many questions that night and she answered them all,
The man was her lover and that she was the mans source of light,
And she could not sleep for the man was not there to protect her from the dark,

A Touch of Pain (A tribute to the Marquis De Sade)

2005-03-28T05:14:00.000-08:00

Arise Children of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Awaken from your deep slumber,
A banquet has been prepared for you and your offspring,

Shake off the thousand-year dust that covers your bones,
Set fire to the blood that fuels your hunger for the body,
The master awaits your company in his halls of pure fervor,

Who is the host of this feast of the flesh you may ask,
None other than the man, whose sole source of pleasure is pain,
The Marquis De Sade is here to let loose the atrocities of man,

Bring out the candle wax and the cat-o-nine tails,
For they are the masters symbols of power and supremacy,
He shall need them to share his love for decadence and debauchery,

After this night of beautiful madness no virgin shall remain untouched,
No taboo unexplored by the chosen few that will partake in the revelry,
And most of all the body shall be reborn in the blood of the innocent,

The prison of salt that God had imprisoned you in will crumble,
For the new age has cometh and the old ways are dead,
He is the dark messiah that will lead the future of man,

The sky burns, as the hour of the gathering grows ever near,
The angels of the host weep at the sight of the mortal realm,
They shed salty tears that destroy all that they encounter,

The master signals the baptism to begin,
An unholy hymn floods every corner of the room and yet all are silent,
The guest speak not a word for their tongues have rotted away to oblivion,

The living dead, echoes of a past that is buried in the sands of time,
Lovers that once partook in the bliss but now lie in the grounds of the chateau,
Covered in mounds of earth marked by blood red roses,

A look of fear envelops the master’s face and he screams in terror,
The mass of dead victims swarms him and he is drowned in their presence,
My master, my lord, my one true love destroyed by the very things he adored,

I try to wail out of anguish and yet I find myself incapable,
Instead a stranger laughter wells up in me and I cackle,
I smile for I know the master will live on in my heart and in my mind,

This feeling of ecstasy is short lived for my time has also come,
The furies have returned to Hades and they shall hound me no more,
My laughter has been cut short by the sound of the guillotine,

Hangman's Row

2005-03-23T05:33:00.000-08:00

The smell of forgotten meat lingers in the air,
Tobacco smoke rises from the chasm of his mouth,
I choke down the last breath of foul air I will ever need,

The hangman slowly guides me to the trapdoor,
He utters not a word but one could feel his prayer,
A good clean drop that shatters spines his only wish,

The noose around my neck tightens and I feel the weight of my sins,
The gallows seems to me as the first and last confessional I will ever see,
And my executioner as the priest, who will absolve my transgressions,

The real priest drunk from rum refuses to give me last rights,
And if he did, he could guarantee that the host would burn my tongue,
I smile weakly for I know my drop would go on to the pits of hell,

The crowds gather to witness my final moments on earth,
Some are there with delight on their faces and satisfaction in their hearts,
But some are simply bored with their tired lives and crave some amusement,

The hour of my execution comes to a close and I drop from the gallows,
My neck broke in two and the darkness slowly poured into my eyes,
The last thing that I ever saw was the grinning face of a little girl,

Such are the tales of a dying man, whose only sin was to love,
I loved each and every one of my so-called victims,
I desired not only their flesh but also their innocence that fueled me,

Never again will I taste young and full lips,
Or warm and succulent flesh between my thighs,
My garrote shall miss the long slender necks it use to crush,

I am a murderer that deserves his death by hanging,
But I am also a lover that merely acted out his heart’s desire,
In the end am I really a sinner for being a goddamn romantic?

Tre Fasi Di Amore

2005-03-21T20:51:00.000-08:00

The three poems found in this series are "The loneliest day", "The waiting room" and "The final petal". Please read them in this order. :)

The Final Petal

2005-03-13T05:08:00.000-08:00

The days of counting are finally over,
The endless nights of pain and wondering are gone,
For the last petal has been plucked from its place,

The passion has been putout by all the waiting,
No longer am I the virile man that I once was,
Nor am I the young lad that first fell in love with you,

I have grown cold and indifferent to your presence,
Your touch no longer fills me with bliss,
And your kiss now tastes like love's bitter ashes,

The laughter that once echoed has now been replaced with silence,
I cannot find myself smiling for my muse is now dead to me,
So I now hide within a mask full of lies and excuses,

I must have been blinded with my love that I did not see,
That while my eyes where on her, her eyes were on another,
Only a fool could have gone on this long without giving up,

I sat and gritted my teeth but I did not say a word,
For I feared that I might lose you if I spoke out,
Now I am truly mute for my voice died with you,

I no longer dream of you for I find myself without sleep,
The nights stretch on to eternity, without you to send me to rest,
The dawn has also lost its purpose for its light is now spent,

Whether she loved me or she loved me not, no longer matters,
I spent a lifetime loving only her and that is enough,
The final petal has been pulled from its roots and it is now time to forget,

The Waiting Room

2005-02-27T02:50:00.000-08:00

The silence collides on the surface of the plywood walls,
Like waves upon the shore it breaks and scatters,
Deafening the very core of my being,

I sit and wait for a whisper of life from your lips,
My body has grown numb from the eternity of immobility,
And yet I await your response with great anticipation,

I have lost hunger for food or thirst for drink while I linger,
The only nourishment I crave for is that of your presence,
And that is why my body had begun to feast on itself from starvation,

Insomnia now pierces my vessel, tearing it to shreds.
The waking world burns for even in my dreams my desire plagues me,
The lord of dreams cannot save me from my prison,

I walk the empty streets with nothing but my love for you to guide me,
It seems that this is a folly for I find myself lost within a labyrinth,
Trapped within the winding roads that lead on to oblivion,

In a shallow pool I stare at my bitter reflection,
Remembering my previous life filled with beauty and vigor,
But all I see is a dead man tattered by time,

I weep for the world no longer accepts its bastard son into its halls,
Tears that clear the dirt and grime that have encased my face,
It shatters the mask that I have worn to hide my imperfections,

As the shards of my dreary present break and buckle the sky slowly parts,
The silence is broken by a rhapsody that the host could not produce,
My cellular phone rings and I have found myself once more,

The Loneliest Day

2005-02-12T05:21:00.000-08:00

The clock winds down to the ever-open abyss,
The silent revelries within my mind echo throughout the room,
I love her and yet she is with another, tonight,

I lie on my bed staring at the ceiling,
My mind racing into oblivion,
The stench of gin and oranges fill the air,

I’m in an alcohol-induced coma from the heartache,
In this catatonic state I find myself plagued with questions,
Is she dancing with him? Is he making her laugh as I once did?

The questions feed on my mind as well as well as my flesh,
Atrophy slowly creeps upon my limbs, destroying them,
I am dead, but I still long for her presence,

The bell tolls that another hour has gone by,
Like the others before it, I have spent it remembering her,
Her with her skin of porcelain and lips red as wine,

The night grows deeper and your vision slowly fades,
My memories of you seem distant and blurred,
With each instance I try to think of you, I find myself forgetting,

Does this mean I am over her and I can finally move on?
Does this mean I am no longer her slave?
Or does it mean she will haunt my dreams for all eternity,

The dawn beckons and I find myself stirring,
I rise from my undead state and welcome the horizon,
I have lived a day without her and now she is truly gone,

One last shot

2005-02-10T05:17:00.000-08:00

The bottle half empty,
My soul drifting to oblivion,
Reality fading under the guise,
Of a glass of poison,

Sweet nectar burns my breast,
Each drop brings me pure bliss,
Nothing exists beyond the glass,
Nothing but forever,

One glass of poison remains,
Eager lips welcome it and drinks,
Then darkness and the cold grip of death,
In a blink of an eye life ended, but not without,
One last drink for the road ahead,

Confession

2005-01-22T06:31:00.000-08:00

Confession
Broken, destroyed and alone I now lay,
For my mind is filled with guilt from sin unfound,
Daggers of emotions now pierce my soul,

Laughter knows no place in my world of illusions,
Tears roll down my eyes that have lost their glimmer,
Everything that once was is now but a distant memory,

Vigor and vitality drowned in a sea of shame,
I with my unworthy hands have tainted good,
I have condemned myself with words that were sown in ill wrought,

Food and drink have lost all taste for a sinner like me,
Sleepless nights now plague me for my crime haunts me in my sleep,
I no longer deserve to glance at what I have dealt poison to,

What remains of my humanity now begs for but one request,
One thing that could free me from my shackles,
Forgiveness from who I have given nothing but despair,

I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I am less of a man,
I’m sorry that I have given you nothing but grief,
I throw myself at the mercy of your judgment,

I’m sorry,

Virgin Wax Goddess

2005-01-11T03:27:00.000-08:00

Your flame flickers as the wind brushes by,
Waving, dancing in the stillness of the void,
Mesmerizing the minds eye to confusion,

Your host can barely contain the passion that you harbor,
Beads of sweat slowly trickle down your slender body,
Vapor rising from the very pores of your skin,

A feverish glow emanates from your entire being,
Radiance that is surely not from this world,
I squint for my eyes can only stand to stare for a moment,

As I gawk at your magnificence,
My own desire and lust boil within my loins,
Burning all boundaries of carnal pleasure,

Fueled by longing I reach out and smother you with my arms,
For one brief instant our spirits were one and I was complete,
But I could not contain your essence so I freed you from my embrace,

I watch as you continue with your dance of pure fervor,
Tempting me to once again partake in your heat,
But I cannot for I find myself torpor and impotent,

It seems as though you drained all vehemence within my shell,
Leaving me burnt, parched and craving for your presence,
I am dying from the wounds that your beauty inflicted on me,

The world slowly dims for I have stared into the flame to long,
I can only see a pale silhouette of the once roaring fire,
She has moved on and the darkness now approaches,

The Old Man

2004-12-25T03:24:00.000-08:00

The afternoon sun shines through the glass arc,
It warms the body and revives the soul,
It seeps through the very pores of my skin,

But it is not only I, who enjoys the heat,
There is another whose eyes are wide and bright,
He whose very presence gives warmth in itself,

The old man had always puzzled me,
Him, with his many tales full of wisdom and mirth,
He, whose smile never failed to lift me up,

We would talk for hours till the sun could barely be seen,
We would traverse the endless crevices of the universe,
Dreaming of things beyond our current state,

I loved the old man with whom I shared my secrets,
I opened up the very emotions that I had long kept hidden,
The old man had given my humanity back,

We were two souls bound by the hip,
One would not move if the other did not,
One would not live if the other was not by his side,

Then one day, the old man no longer came,
I was forced to drift alone without my beloved companion,
I was once again a ship without an anchor,

But I cannot live like this any longer,
I must seek refuge and find peace,
For I know this would have been the old man’s wish,

I now dream of the days that we spent together,
Days filled with life and love,
Days that would live on for all eternity,

In the end the only thing left to say is goodbye old man,
Or better yet till the next time we meet,
For I know we will share another fine afternoon sometime soon,

Crushed

2004-12-22T06:10:00.000-08:00

My heart beating loudly,
My throat going dry from fear,
Sweat pouring down my grief stricken face.

Looking at her from a distance,
Admiring her radiance in the shadows,
Not knowing what the future holds for my love.

My day starts and ends with the grace of her beauty,
Breathing would not be possible if her scent is not with me,
Laughter would be pointless without her smiles.

Writing letters for someone who does not even know I exist,
Singing love songs to a shadow in the other side of the street,
Kissing the very earth that she treads upon.

Hoping and dreaming she would look my way,
Living a life in constant orbit around her,
I have become blind and deaf as the world tramples on me.

Then one day something different occurs in me,
I walk through the shadows and into the light,
But she is no longer there.

Not a whisper of her existence can be heard,
Not a single strand of her hair can be found,
Was she even there at all?

Did I make her up as I did my own existence?
Was she merely a figment of my imagination?
Or was she an echo of love that I hunger for.

A Mirror for Narcissus

2004-12-07T05:58:00.000-08:00

Drowning in a pool of tears,
I find myself fighting for every breath,
Slowly slipping away to oblivion,

Death paddles with a silent disposition,
Ferrying me to an eternity in the underworld,
And yet I still cannot help but stare,

Stare into that, which has given me nothing but grief,
Stare into that, which has broken many a maiden,
I stare into my own bitter reflection,

Beauty that corrupts all that looks upon it,
Beauty that has cursed me with a life that has no love,
Absolute Vanity that burns every grain of my being,

I remember all that have look upon my splendor,
They stared with hollow eyes and empty passion,
Save for one, who looked at me and found love,

Loves sweet Echo was the last thing I heard,
Loves sweet Echo held me in her embrace,
Loves sweet Echo bid me farewell,

Nemesis was right; I am perfect
She lifted up the mirror and showed me the truth,
That loves sweet blossom isn’t enough,

For I have beauty that surpasses even the gods,
Beauty that needs no imperfect companion,
Beauty that is loves bitter ashes,

China Doll

2004-12-07T02:37:00.000-08:00

The shadow creeps upon the walls of my haven,
I cover myself with a veil of tattered dreams,
I feel no fear for I am in your embrace,

I stare at your large still eyes and weep,
For I see my bitter reflection fade to black,
I am a haze in the pale moonlight,

The wind blows my shutters open,
Leaves flutter into my dark domicile,
The night wind enters and you’re my only source of warmth,

I rise from my catatonic state and I walk towards the mirror,
No reflection is seen for I have lost my soul,
I run towards the door but I find it impossible to reach,

I rush back to my bed to seek refuge in your arms,
But I find you have left my company for another,
I scream your name but still you do not return,

I shiver for the cold now grips every cell in my body,
The abyss grows with every moment and I am lost,
Drowning in a pool of tears and alcohol,

Good Guy or Bad Guy?

2004-12-07T02:34:00.000-08:00

I have often pondered in my vacant hours the topic of good guys and bad guys. In our culture and the overall stereotypical point of view on the subject is that the good guy always wins in the end. To be perfectly honest I am greatly appalled by this statement due to the fact that I am and probably will always be a bad guy. In the brief span of my acting stint I have always landed the role of the mean, overbearing and downright nasty person. With each passing role I have grown accustomed to internalizing and applying various techniques in emphasizing the evil that is present in a role. It seems as though that this internalizing has managed to spill itself out of the pages of my script and into my daily life. This lies in the truth that the bad guy or the antagonist has no right to ever be happy. To tell you the truth, at the start I thought it was the biggest load of bullshit that I had ever heard. But in light of recent events I now see that it is possible that a bad guy will forever be alone. The warm fuzzy feeling that I got from the movie “Annie” has now expired and I have returned to my old bitter self. I once tried to love. In that brief instant I was willing to change my life, my personality and habits for the better. But in the end it exploded in my face and I got my feelings hurt. Some people may say that it was my fault and that I was insensitive. HOW THE HELL WAS I INSENTIVE?!!!!! It seems as though my storybook character has imprinted a permanent mark on my being that I will always be at fault. God! That sucks! I have been cast in the undying role of the patsy or the fall guy. I have done no crime but I was still judged accordingly. I am not pleading for innocence with this statement for I know that in some way I may have done something wrong. I have never hidden the fact that I am not a saint and that I am not the easiest guy to be around with. But all I ask from people is that they listen to both sides of the story before they judge me.

The Bacchanal

2004-12-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

The opium fog clouds the minds eye,
Dimming the world to a shallow haze,
Dulling all senses and reason,

Satin couches surround the ball,
Catering to every abhorrent desire of the flesh,
Death and life in one cradle,

Fountains of wine flow freely,
Staining all that it touches,
Sweet nectar of sin consumes us all,

Wild ramblings of madmen fill the room,
Screams of pain and pleasure ensue,
Blind, deaf and dumb from the taboo,

Succubus and incubus prey on the weak,
Stealing their souls and virginity,
Leaving them hollow and dry,

No bliss left undone, no pleasure unexplored,
In this universe from the pages of Faust,
We have lost our purity to that we love the most,

Annie

2004-12-03T21:54:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching “Annie” and it gave me this funny feeling that I’ve been living my life the wrong way. This sounds so corny but I feel like that I’ve been prioritizing the wrong things. I grew up thinking that money, power and ambition were the only things that I’ll ever really need. I now crave for something more than all the worthless possessions I covet. I want love. I know what you must be thinking right now. You’re thinking that Ben’s gone over the deep end and has totally lost his mind but in truth I want it more than all the riches in the world. I know I’m too young to be pondering such thoughts but I see myself as a forty something year old man that’s trapped in the body of a sixteen year old guy. Love is the one thing that could probably give my life some direction coz right now I’m just drifting around doing nothing.

Tears of forgotten sorrow

2004-12-02T23:44:00.000-08:00

My eyes are dry for there are no tears to shed,
She is dead, buried and gone forever,
And yet she is a constant in the pools of my memory,

Never again will I feel her warm embrace,
Or her kisses upon my cheek,
For she is lost in a place I cannot reach,

I cannot fathom the endless waves of time,
Time that I would spend without her,
Time that is my prison till death claims me as well,

Her grave calls out to me,
Mocking me for inside it my beloved rests,
Tempting me to fling myself into it and die,

I seek solace in the bottom of a bottle,
With each swig I seem to see her beside me,
Whispering words that have no meaning,

Am I mad to feel nothing about anything besides her?
Am I mad for desiring nothing more than her presence?
For if this is true then I would be glad to be called a madman,

Come back to me, my beloved come back to me,
For if not I shall join you in eternal slumber,
The bonds of mortality can no longer hold me back,

I now stand on a precipice, of which I would surely fall and die,
I am unafraid for I know at the bottom you are there to catch me,
And we shall finally be together for all eternity,

Super Size Me

2004-12-02T23:31:00.000-08:00

I just watched the film super size me and to tell you honestly it scared me. I can't believe that I'm actually eating that much garbage in the span of one week! Wow! As children were exposed to this idea that MacDonalds is our friend and we should enjoy his poison. I feel like I should eat a salad or go to the gym after watching that film. It was like watching "The Ring" and "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" combined! I'm a big fan of Mickey D but after seeing the effects of his food to the human body I'm having serious doubts if I should ever eat at MacDonalds again.

Blog test

2004-12-02T19:25:00.000-08:00

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